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Let's talk dirty
The girls on 14th street charge $20 a pop. A wife is "expected" to just want to do it for her husband. Monica Lewinski does it once and she becomes famous. Now see if you can define the word: Fair.
There's nothing more complicated than perception.
I think we need to be careful about what our children see and hear as we single parents begin the painful dating process, once again. The worst thing we could expose them to is the loud groaning noises coming from our bedrooms.
Yes, the pain of getting back out there and finding such a different world can really bring us pain. And we know most of the usual pitfalls. A sudden exclamation from your partner. "Oh my God! You have children?"
I won't even begin to delve into the myriad possibilities that can befall you during such a time. Nor will I bore you with "war" stories of my own. I will tell you this one story. There were several women I made contact with who decided not to see me after they found out...(da da da dum)...I have my tongue pierced.
I expected most women to not care one way or the other. It's not horribly disfiguring and, if I ever keep my mouth shut, you can't even tell. I also expected that at least a few might be mildly curious. Welcome to the world of modern dating, where we understand even less than we did in our teens.
Perhaps teenagers really DO know it all.
But I've given some thought to the general opinions about single parent dating that we hear all the time. One thing I hold true is that, even if a women runs screaming from me because she finds I have six children, I always tell my children that she didn't like the color of my eyes or something. I would never allow them to think, even for one minute, that I didn't get to go out and have a nice time because of them.
And therein, the similarities end. One of the most important rules people try to teach is the "don't bring home a girlfriend/boyfriend until you've established a relationship with them. This way, the kids are not constantly saying good bye to someone new. This is often referred to as the "revolving door" syndrome.
I completely disagree. I do not approve of children seeing inappropriate behavior, even if you HAVE established a relationship. But if I bring a woman home and treat her properly, what do my kids see? How to treat a lady? Or that dating can be difficult and I shouldn't fall into bed with the first one that has nostrils?
As with all things, controversial concepts like these have to be established individually. There is no set rule, one standard for all. You each know your children better than I do. How will they react to a "daddy replacement"? But more importantly, how will they react to mommy being happy again?
Let's give the children a chance to accept this new lifestyle, as well. And who knows, you meet the right guy, settle into a routine, and life becomes better than it has been in a long time. What on Earth would your intelligent offspring have to say about that, I wonder.
Best of luck...to us all.
Al Musitano
Submitted by DadofManatee on Dec. 1, 2008, 7:32 am
The girls on 14th street charge $20 a pop. A wife is "expected" to just want to do it for her husband. Monica Lewinski does it once and she becomes famous. Now see if you can define the word: Fair.
There's nothing more complicated than perception.
I think we need to be careful about what our children see and hear as we single parents begin the painful dating process, once again. The worst thing we could expose them to is the loud groaning noises coming from our bedrooms.
Yes, the pain of getting back out there and finding such a different world can really bring us pain. And we know most of the usual pitfalls. A sudden exclamation from your partner. "Oh my God! You have children?"
I won't even begin to delve into the myriad possibilities that can befall you during such a time. Nor will I bore you with "war" stories of my own. I will tell you this one story. There were several women I made contact with who decided not to see me after they found out...(da da da dum)...I have my tongue pierced.
I expected most women to not care one way or the other. It's not horribly disfiguring and, if I ever keep my mouth shut, you can't even tell. I also expected that at least a few might be mildly curious. Welcome to the world of modern dating, where we understand even less than we did in our teens.
Perhaps teenagers really DO know it all.
But I've given some thought to the general opinions about single parent dating that we hear all the time. One thing I hold true is that, even if a women runs screaming from me because she finds I have six children, I always tell my children that she didn't like the color of my eyes or something. I would never allow them to think, even for one minute, that I didn't get to go out and have a nice time because of them.
And therein, the similarities end. One of the most important rules people try to teach is the "don't bring home a girlfriend/boyfriend until you've established a relationship with them. This way, the kids are not constantly saying good bye to someone new. This is often referred to as the "revolving door" syndrome.
I completely disagree. I do not approve of children seeing inappropriate behavior, even if you HAVE established a relationship. But if I bring a woman home and treat her properly, what do my kids see? How to treat a lady? Or that dating can be difficult and I shouldn't fall into bed with the first one that has nostrils?
As with all things, controversial concepts like these have to be established individually. There is no set rule, one standard for all. You each know your children better than I do. How will they react to a "daddy replacement"? But more importantly, how will they react to mommy being happy again?
Let's give the children a chance to accept this new lifestyle, as well. And who knows, you meet the right guy, settle into a routine, and life becomes better than it has been in a long time. What on Earth would your intelligent offspring have to say about that, I wonder.
Best of luck...to us all.
Al Musitano
